Sunday, December 5, 2010

Ok here it goes.  Im scared.  Im scared, Im mad, Im confused, Im extremely sad and hurt.  The past few days the looks on the doctor's faces says it all.  They are very worried and stumped.  Taking Skyler's spleen out was supposed to make things better.  His platelet count was supposed to go up.  It hasnt at all.  They have no idea what is going on with him and to make matters worse and more complicated it looks like his liver is having problems now.  His billi is going up so his skin is a yellow orange color and the whites of his eyes are completely yellow.  His clotting time is going up, so that means if he bleeds it takes him alot longer than the normal person to start clotting.  Add that to no platelets and we are in BIG trouble if he starts bleeding.  We have to be extremely careful now even whenever we turn him, because if he starts bleeding from the inside that could be fatal to him. 
Honestly, no one really knows what to do at this point but wait and see what his body does.  They are starting chemo today even though it may be dangerous because of his low platelets.  He has gone a month without chemo and if his blasts come back then that would be fatal to him as well.
So to say Im scared is kind of an understatement.  Skyler is my whole life.  I cant stand to think anything else other than that he is going to start getting better soon, but with the looks I am getting from the doctors its starting to get harder.  I hate the fact that those bad thoughts are coming to my mind.  It literally makes me sick.  I get to the point where I dont think I could possibly cry anymore but then the tears start all over again.  All I can say right now is that cancer sucks and everything that comes with it.
I love you with all my heart Sky! I love you to infinity and beyond!!!

17 comments:

Shawntae said...

I am so so sorry you are going through all this. You are so strong and i look up to you a lot.

I'll pray for that cute little boy.

Nikki said...

I'm praying so hard for you guys. I love you guys, and I will continue to pray for you with all my heart.

Amy Stewart said...

Crystal I am so so sorry. Cancer really does suck, Its so hard to sit and watch someone you love suffer and you cant do anything but just watch.I really wish you guys didnt have to go through this. If it means anything I know how you feel and I am here for you if you need anything please call even if its a shoulder to cry on I am here and I Love you

Nikki Taylor said...

I went to High School with you...I am not sure if you know me or remember me but somehow I stumbled across your blog and all I can do is cry for you. I simply can't believe all that you have gone through and are continuing to go through at this time. It is more than anyone should ever have to endure and to have it all happen within the last few years is just not fair. Cancer DOES suck and I am so very sorry for your sweet Skyler. What an amazing, incredible, brave little boy. And how very blessed he is to have you as a mom. You are an example to TONS of people that you probably don't even realize and I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you at this very difficult time. I hope you have the comfort and peace you need to keep up the good fight!

AmberLee said...

Crystal, I'm sure you don't remember me. I met you a few years ago, right after Summers four wheeling accident I came to your moms house a couple times to pick up her girls. And remember meeting you and Skyler.
Saying I'm sorry that Skyler is going through this, just doesn't seem like enough. He is a special little boy, his strength, will, determination and amazing smile has taught me so much.
Please know that me and my family are keeping you and Skyler in our prayers. I pray that you can some how have peace and comfort at this time. And know that there are so many of us out there praying and routing for Skyler.
I also want to say that he is so blessed to have such a loving and devoted mom. You are an example to us all. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Oh Crystal I am so sorry you both are going through this! We are praying for you both and hoping he starts to show signs of improvement soon. Hang in their Crystal. Your an amazing mom!

johnjillhuz said...

Hang in there Crystal, we love you!

Alika and Amber said...

Crystal, I cried as I read this. I am truly and deeply sorry that this has been such a rollercoaster for you and Skyler. On top of praying for you and Skyler I also pray for the Doctors that they have the knowledge to find the problem and fix it fast.

Amanda said...

Love you both.

Anonymous said...

Crystal, you don't know me, but I have been following your blog from the very beginning. Skyler is a beautiful boy with the best mom. Even though we have never met, we send our love and prayers to you everyday. Extra love and prayers tonight.

N Gines said...

Crystal - I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. You are such a strong and amazing mother. I will keep you and Skyler in our thoughts and prayers.

nsudburyfam said...

We love you guys! We were up at PCMC tonight getting labs done and I wanted to come see you, but I didn't want to bother you and it was kind of late. I want you to know that we think of you every day, several times a day. You are in our thoughts all the time!

lea said...

Skyler is so amazing...his little body has been through so much and Im amazed at his ability to smile through all those tubes! Its because you are by his side, and he knows you love him! Hang in there and know that I pray for you and think of you often...Im sorry you have so much to deal with...

Jenny said...

Hang on!

BreeAnn said...

Crystal, I was driving into work this morning and listening to 97.1 zht. I heard the phone call they made to you at Primary's. I started crying, listening to the letter that Todd wrote you. I am SO sorry for everything you have been dealing with.I can't imagaine how you must feel. I wish you all the best of luck and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and sweet Skyler! Merry Christmas!
BreeAnn

lindsay Roscoe said...

We are all praying for you both. I will do anything you need.

Chelsea said...

Im so sorry Crystal. Once again, this is so unfair for you to have to go through. We are always praying and thinking of you guys. You are one amazing mommy...never forget it! Love you guys! XOXOXO