Ok here it goes. Im scared. Im scared, Im mad, Im confused, Im extremely sad and hurt. The past few days the looks on the doctor's faces says it all. They are very worried and stumped. Taking Skyler's spleen out was supposed to make things better. His platelet count was supposed to go up. It hasnt at all. They have no idea what is going on with him and to make matters worse and more complicated it looks like his liver is having problems now. His billi is going up so his skin is a yellow orange color and the whites of his eyes are completely yellow. His clotting time is going up, so that means if he bleeds it takes him alot longer than the normal person to start clotting. Add that to no platelets and we are in BIG trouble if he starts bleeding. We have to be extremely careful now even whenever we turn him, because if he starts bleeding from the inside that could be fatal to him.
Honestly, no one really knows what to do at this point but wait and see what his body does. They are starting chemo today even though it may be dangerous because of his low platelets. He has gone a month without chemo and if his blasts come back then that would be fatal to him as well.
So to say Im scared is kind of an understatement. Skyler is my whole life. I cant stand to think anything else other than that he is going to start getting better soon, but with the looks I am getting from the doctors its starting to get harder. I hate the fact that those bad thoughts are coming to my mind. It literally makes me sick. I get to the point where I dont think I could possibly cry anymore but then the tears start all over again. All I can say right now is that cancer sucks and everything that comes with it.
I love you with all my heart Sky! I love you to infinity and beyond!!!