The day and night after surgery went well. I was actually so surprised at how well he was doing. His platelet count went up to 35, which is a lot better than 3, his vitals were really good, and he was resting and didnt seem like he was in alot of pain. However, yesterday and last night werent so great. He has been getting high fevers that just wont go away, so he has been miserable from that. He is having pain in his tummy where is huge liver is, he is getting a rash on his belly and arms that they think is cellulitis, he has been throwing up and having diarrhea, the whites of his eyes are almost completely yellow now, and his platelet count today is 11. A platelet count of 11, are you serious?! This surgery was supposed to make is so his platelet count go right up and now they are going back down to a low number! I hope they didnt take out an organ for nothing.
I am just so far past frustrated today. He looks so small and fragile, his eyes are sunken in with big black circles underneath, he just looks sick. I mean I know he is sick, but sometimes I can just pretend he is ok when he looks ok. Today I cant pretend, he is a sick boy and I finally have to accept that. My heart is hurting today. I just cant stand seeing my beautiful, precious, perfect little boy like this. I hate that someone so innocent and so young has to endure something like this day in and day out. I hate the fact that I told him daddy died because his body got sick and now he knows that his body is sick. That kills me. Cancer is horrible enough in itself to have, but throw in a whole heck of alot of more complications and its just torture.