Sunday, January 8, 2012

One thing that has been therapeutic for me lately is to make videos of Skyler's cancer journey.  He is doing so well now that we have been able to resume some sort of a normal life.  I feel like since things are pretty good now that I should be back to my normal self again and everything should be perfect, but the truth is emotionally I'm just not there yet.  Even though its been over a year I feel like I am still trying to recover from what we went through.  I think it will just take time to make those images and emotions I felt not so close to the surface anymore.  At first I tried just blocking everything out of my mind and not looking at any pictures of what Skyler looked like when he was really sick, but I have learned with Ben's death that its better in the long run to deal with this kind of stuff head on.  As I look through pictures now to use it helps me to remember that he did go through (excuse my language) hell and back, and just because he is doing well now it still doesn't erase what happened a year ago. 


I found this song on another cancer cutie's blog and it brought me to tears.  It's exactly how I felt those many nights that I prayed and plead for my Father in Heaven to spare my son's life.


                                 http://youtu.be/6FaAW8QYzLU


6 comments:

mom said...

We have all been blessed having Skyler in our lives. Only the most valiant can be asked to go thru what he has endured. Remembering those awful days I still feel the trauma and anguish in my soul. I am so proud of you Skyler you have endured with courage and wisdom beyond your years. You are true hero in every sense of the word. Crystal you have been asked to bear so much and are a hero in all of our eyes. Watching you everyday give selfless love is inspiring. Skyler's so blessed to have you for a mother and I am so grateful you are my daughter. I love you!
Mom

Allison said...

Crystal, I have been reading your journey for the last year or so, and I am truly inspired by your courage. I know that God has big plans for you and for Skyler, as you trust Him to see you through. He DOES hear your cries, and He is a God of miracles. I'm praying for you as you finally come out of crisis mode long enough to begin dealing with the amazing strain you have been under. I hope that as you look back over this year, you will be able to see God's hand of protection and blessing in the midst of this terrible storm. Praying for complete healing for your little man.

Plain Jame said...

Even those of us that haven't met Skyler in person are blessed by knowing his story. I feel blessed to have known his Daddy, and as I've said many times, I know he must be watching over Skyler. Crystal thanks for having the courage to document this journey and allow us as readers to learn and grow from this journey and huge trial. It's all about him of course, but in the end it's also about all the people in his life he has brought together and blessed because of his life!

Sharp Family said...

wow your mom said it best!!! I have commented here before you dont know me I found your blog through someone else I hope you dont mind! That video was amazing! I cried throughout the whole thing! It doesn't seem fair that these sweet innocent souls have to go through so much pain! I have to believe his reward will be great on the other side for being so brave and courageous!! He's sooo dang cute that's for sure!!!

Jami said...

That sweet video made me cry! What a miracle that little guy is! Crystal, time may ease the memories of what you and Skyler went through, but that experience is definitely not something that you just forget about and move on from. I think it is very nice to see you both doing well. Hugs to you both!

Holly said...

I'm a friend of Nikki's, so this is my first time stopping by. I just want to say Skyler is adorable, and you both are so strong. I pray that 2012 is a very good year for you.