Spring cannot come fast enough.  Sitting inside the house all day is really starting to wear on me and Im sure even more on Skyler.  I try and think of fun things to do, play games, and play with his toys but doing the same thing over and over and playing with the same toys gets old quick.  I miss the days where we could just get in the car and drive somewhere fun.  I mean even just getting out and going to the store was something we could that we cant anymore.  The hardest part for me is knowing that other kids his age are in school and playing with friends while he is sitting at home all day.  This is not how a four year old should be living its just not fair.  I have been so afraid to let other kids come over here because Im terrified of bringing in germs and if he got sick I would kick myself for not doing EVERYTHING in my power to stop it.  But I have been feeling so guilty about that and even though he has cancer and is "sick" he still needs to have a life.  So the other day I threw my fears aside and had one of his little friends come over.  He also loves Mario so they were able to play Mario on the Wii together, play his DS with him and play with Skyler's toys together.  It was so good seeing him have fun and play.  We also went to my moms work and had a picnic and fed the ducks.  Even though is was cold we still had a good time.  It was great hearing him laugh when the ducks got his bread.  I just love this little boy.  He deserves to be happy.  I wish I could give him a "normal" life free of cancer but I cant.  I can, however, try and make it as "normal" as possible for him.  I want him to play with other kids and get out and do things.  I know I have a long way to go before I get over my crazy germ freak thinking (I dont think I ever will completely) but I have been working on it for him.  I will still be a clean freak carrying around hand sanitizer all the time dont get me wrong, but I have to learn to let go and relax a little.  When it gets warmer we will be able to go play outside.  We will be able to play sports in the yard, swing, have picnics (that arent cold), we can go for walks etc. and there also wont be as much sickness going around.  Im just cant wait.  Bring on the sunshine please!!!

Skyler and Cooper playing Mario on the Wii.  As you can see by their faces its an intense game!

Playing the DS together.  They look so cute.

We went twice to my moms work to feed the ducks.  This was the warmer day.  Look at Skyler walking!

In case you are wondering why he is wearing a mask when no one was around, its because I didnt want yucky duck water splashing in his mouth.

And this was the cold WINDY day we went (nice hair right?)  The birds flew right up to us.  Skyler was laughing at me because I am so afraid of birds (they always look like they are getting ready to attack and peck at my head)