Friday, March 18, 2011

Spring cannot come fast enough.  Sitting inside the house all day is really starting to wear on me and Im sure even more on Skyler.  I try and think of fun things to do, play games, and play with his toys but doing the same thing over and over and playing with the same toys gets old quick.  I miss the days where we could just get in the car and drive somewhere fun.  I mean even just getting out and going to the store was something we could that we cant anymore.  The hardest part for me is knowing that other kids his age are in school and playing with friends while he is sitting at home all day.  This is not how a four year old should be living its just not fair.  I have been so afraid to let other kids come over here because Im terrified of bringing in germs and if he got sick I would kick myself for not doing EVERYTHING in my power to stop it.  But I have been feeling so guilty about that and even though he has cancer and is "sick" he still needs to have a life.  So the other day I threw my fears aside and had one of his little friends come over.  He also loves Mario so they were able to play Mario on the Wii together, play his DS with him and play with Skyler's toys together.  It was so good seeing him have fun and play.  We also went to my moms work and had a picnic and fed the ducks.  Even though is was cold we still had a good time.  It was great hearing him laugh when the ducks got his bread.  I just love this little boy.  He deserves to be happy.  I wish I could give him a "normal" life free of cancer but I cant.  I can, however, try and make it as "normal" as possible for him.  I want him to play with other kids and get out and do things.  I know I have a long way to go before I get over my crazy germ freak thinking (I dont think I ever will completely) but I have been working on it for him.  I will still be a clean freak carrying around hand sanitizer all the time dont get me wrong, but I have to learn to let go and relax a little.  When it gets warmer we will be able to go play outside.  We will be able to play sports in the yard, swing, have picnics (that arent cold), we can go for walks etc. and there also wont be as much sickness going around.  Im just cant wait.  Bring on the sunshine please!!!

Skyler and Cooper playing Mario on the Wii.  As you can see by their faces its an intense game!

Playing the DS together.  They look so cute.

We went twice to my moms work to feed the ducks.  This was the warmer day.  Look at Skyler walking!

In case you are wondering why he is wearing a mask when no one was around, its because I didnt want yucky duck water splashing in his mouth.

And this was the cold WINDY day we went (nice hair right?)  The birds flew right up to us.  Skyler was laughing at me because I am so afraid of birds (they always look like they are getting ready to attack and peck at my head)


Lacy Allred said...

i feel the same way about birds and everyone laughs at me if i'm in public freaking out. they're just terrifying little creatures

lindsay Roscoe said...

Boy is it great to see you guys enjoying the beautiful wonderful FRESH air!!

suzie said...

Oh crystal....u r such a GREAT mother and its soooooo good that ur a germ freak and I know that its such a double edged sword though and tough with the whole keeping inside and away from germs...but ur so smart...u always think things the duck germs that's sooo something i'd do w my lil boy....and its true they're wtr is so disgusting. Ur enrty tugged hard at my heart strings for skyler..b.c ur right....he deserves more than anyone to play like "normal" kids...but things to do outside will hopefully come soon like u said. I just love hw aware u are as a mother and ur love for him is inspirational...but with that darling face and cuuuuutest voice'd be easy to do I'm sure! :) ur in r prayers.


Jami N. said...

Just an idea to stray from the boredom...take a trip to the zoo! This time of year is fabulous-there are not very many people there! You can have him ride in a stroller if you don't want him touching the rails and fences. Sometimes PCMC will even offer discounted (or free!) passes to patients and families. Wheeler Farm is a lot of fun as well this time of year.

nsudburyfam said...

It's so awesome to see Skyler having fun with his friend! I am so glad you were able to make that happen. You are such an amazing mom and we absolutely love you guys. I'm so glad you share these stories with us. Thank you :)

Chelsie said...

So good to see you guys out and about! As far as germs and stuff go- baby steps will do just fine for now. When the warm weather is here to stay you'll be able to get out and about more. I promise your heart and soul will feel so much lighter! Daph was diagnosed just before summer and we were cooped up for a while with some broken bones to boot. When all that passed things just seemed so much more easy to endure. It is amazing what a little warmth, sunshine, and green can do. I'm sure it will feel exponentially better for the two of you. I'm sorry that point isn't here RIGHT NOW. But it is something to look forward to!

Anonymous said...

I love to see him having so much fun with the ducks, you are doing a wonderful job!!! Love his beautiful face!!

zach's mom